Forbidden Degenerate
by MadDelight
Summary: Chapter 7 is now up, the final chapter. This is a Felicity Fan fiction. This is the story of how Felicity and Pippa's relationship developed. Mainly A.G.A.T.B, some R.A and T.S.F.T spoilers.
1. Felicity's initiation

**Forbidden Degenerate**

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own any 'Gemma Doyle Trilogy Characters' especially not Felicity, or Pippa, or Gemma. They all belong to the wonderful writer Libba Bray. **However, most of the ideas are mine. This is a Felicity Fan fiction; it's my way of explaining how Pippa and Felicity's relationship developed. If I receive encouraging reviews I'll write more. Enjoy! There will be some jumping around of time; I'll try to keep it as easy to understand as possible 

**(This scene takes place right after the girls have been drinking in the caves. Ch.13- A.G.A.T.B)**

Pippa giggled as Felicity pushed her through the doorway into their room.

"Oh, do be quiet Pip! Do you want Brigid or Mrs. Nightwing to find us drunk?" Felicity asked.

"No definaltely not." Pippa giggled, slurring her words.

"I should've known that you can't hold your liquor." Felicity climbed under her covers, pulling them up to her chin.

"Oh, I've a love, a true, true love…" Pippa sang drunkenly, collapsing on her bed.

"Pip, please." Felicity entreated. "I'd like to get a little sleep."

Her giggling continued. "Oh Fee, you're no fun when you're drunk." Felicity rested silently while she waited for Pippa's giggling to subside. "I do believe we've started a new tradition tonight 'The Order Reborn.'" Pippa sighed. "That Gemma sure is a strange one, mysterious…"

"Well at least she can hold her liquor better than you." Felicity replied.

The room was dark and silent for a moment. The only thing they could hear was the breathing of one another.

"… Pip?" Felicity asked softly.

"Yes?"

"Do you think I can really become too powerful to ignore?"

"Of course." Pippa muttered. "Do you think I'll ever find my true love?" she asked in return.

"Of course." Felicity whispered. "Of course."

_ Flashback _

The first time they met she had no idea that they would become best friends. She walked across the Great Hall, head held high. Felicity Worthington was not going to be intimidated on her first day at Spence Academy for young ladies. She walked, headstrong, right into a group of prattling young ladies.

"Hello, I'm Felicity Worthington, daughter of Admiral Worthington, you know." She greeted brazenly. The other girls glanced at her, looking her up and down, evaluating her.

"I'm Cecily Temple and this is Elizabeth Poole," The apparent leader of their group addressed her. "And this is-…"

"Pippa Cross." A girl with black ringlets and violet eyes smiled, returning Felicity's boldness.

"Yes." Cecily smiled falsely. "I can tell we'll all be the best of friends."

_ Later the same day _

"Well, this will be our room then." Pippa said brightly, flouncing through the door. "I've already unpacked, but you can have that space." She pointed to the bed closest to the window.

"Thank you." Felicity said, tossing her suitcase on the bed and beginning to unpack.

"I have a feeling we'll be quite good friends." Pippa beamed, tossing her ringlets.

"That Cecily Temple seems just marvelous." Felicity rolled her eyes.

"She's in charge around here. You can't get around it. Cecily will watch your every move to make sure that you won't become more popular than her." Pippa explained. "That's just the way it is."

A glimmer of mischievousness flashed through Felicity's eyes. "Well, we'll have to change that, won't we?"

**Down in the Great Hall that night…**

"Madame Lefarge's class is just atrocious. I can't believe that you can speak French so well. Cecily was practically fuming when you answered her question." Pippa tittered.

"Yes, I know. It was quite magnificent, wasn't it?" Felicity beamed. Felicity and Pippa continued to gossip and giggle as they made their way towards Cecily and her followers in a corner of the Hall. Cecily was telling a story animatedly to the girls gathered around her. They laughed and 'awed' as if on cue, afraid to be shunned out of the popular social circle.

"Hello Cecily." Pippa greeted.

"Good evening Pippa, Miss Worthington." Cecily sneered Felicity's name. "I was just telling Elizabeth and Martha how we are lacking in our supply."

"Oh yes, our supply." Pippa agreed quickly.

"Supply of what hidden chocolates, perfume, jewels?" Felicity asked.

Cecily laughed. "Why, Miss Worthington you _slay_ me. It isn't anything quite so trivial."

"No, what is it then?" Felicity asked, staring Cecily down.

"Why, wine of course." Cecily said smugly. The other girls around her giggled at the scandalous thought of drinking. "You have had a drink before, haven't you Miss Worthington?"

"Why, of course I have Cecily, many times actually." Felicity retorted boldly.

"That's splendid! You must've heard then, that newcomers must always steal the wine. Let's see if the magnifique Miss Worthington is more than just talk." Cecily announced, the girls around her whispered amongst themselves. Pippa kept her eyes to the ground. "Eleven o'clock, the chapel. Be there or forget this notion of joining us, _ever again_."

"I wouldn't dream of missing it." Felicity replied.

"Marvelous." Cecily smiled.

Felicity turned to leave expecting Pippa to follow, but she was already involved in conversation with Cecily and her groupies. With a sigh of exasperation, Felicity stormed off.

**11pm—The Chapel Doors**

"I can't believe she actually came." Elizabeth whispered, just loud enough for Felicity to hear.

"Well Miss Worthington, are you certain you can manage this?" Cecily asked condescendingly.

"Quite certain." Felicity replied, trying not to shiver from the cold night air.

"It's simple really, we open the doors, and you'll go in, then find the wine and bring it back." Cecily instructed. "We'll stay here and stand watch."

"Well thanks girls, isn't that thoughtful." Felicity said sarcastically.

Cecily held up her lantern, the flickering light and surrounding fog cast an eerie feeling around the chapel doors. "Pippa, the door." Cecily instructed. Pippa obediently followed her command, giving the heavy door a hard shove. Her eyes stayed fixed to the ground.

"Wish me luck." Felicity whispered as she passed.

"Luck." Pippa whispered back.

The darkness of the chapel invaded Felicity's senses the moment she stepped through the door. The air wasn't quite as cold inside the chapel, but the silence sent a chill up her spine. Without a lantern Felicity couldn't see a thing; she ran headlong into a pew, stubbing her toe. She hissed in pain, but continued to feel her way down the aisle. Her footsteps echoed off the walls.

"There, this isn't so bad, not so bad at all." Felicity spoke to herself, trying to calm her nerves. Suddenly, the door began to swing shut. Realizing what was happening Felicity thought quickly. She searched for a Bible and dropped it to the floor. It echoed loudly, adding to the dramatic effect. "Oh, heavens!" Felicity shrieked, quickly she threw herself to the floor. "Oh my! Girls, I think I've twisted my ankle, won't you please help?"

The door swung back open, letting the moonlight stream in and illuminate the fallen Felicity. Cecily stepped in warily, holding the lantern far out in front of her.

"Are you alright Miss Worthington?" she asked unsympathetically.

"Heavens no! I think I've twisted my ankle on this Bible." Felicity explained.

"If only the girls would remember to pick them up." Cecily admonished.

"Could you possibly give me a hand?" Felicity asked. "This floor is quite uncomfortable."

"But of course." Cecily stretched out her arm to assist Felicity. With a malicious smile Felicity pulled Cecily to the ground, gathered herself up quickly and bolted to the door.

"It seems I recover quickly. Sorry Cecily dear, but no one trumps Felicity Worthington." With that the chapel door swung closed, locking Cecily inside the darkened church. Felicity laughed triumphantly as her cries for help permeated through the fog.

"Corsets weren't meant for running." Felicity said aloud to herself, attempting to catch her breath.

"No, they weren't." Pippa agreed, stepping through the fog.

"You were in on this." Felicity turned to her; it wasn't a question. Pippa just nodded, her violet eyes distant. "I should have locked you in there too." Felicity sighed. She began walking back towards Spence. "Well, come on!" she called, and Pippa followed.

**The next day…**

It was obvious to everyone that Felicity Worthington was now on top. The news had spread through Spence like sand through a sifter. Although, of course, like a game of telephone the stories surrounding Felicity's triumph were getting out of hand.

"I heard she bound and gagged her to a chair, then threatened her with a letter opener!" One girl exclaimed.

"Well I heard she dumped a bucket of water on her in her sleep!"

Whatever the story, every girl in Spence knew that Felicity was now the girl that everyone was supposed to revere and despise. Felicity walked around Spence with her head held high, well higher than usual. She passed Cecily and Elizabeth in the hall.

"No hard feelings I trust?" Felicity asked.

"If you think that you can push me out of the spotlight so easily-…" Cecily whispered harshly.

"Oh but I can, and I have." Felicity grinned wickedly. "And don't think that I'll fall so easily." She muttered back. "Au revoir Cecily dear, au revoir." With that Felicity walked off, Pippa by her side.


	2. Pippa's affliction

(**Side note:**The quotes are supposed to be like themes that start off a new section.)

_ Don't friends always share secrets?_

- Felicity A.G.A.T.B.

For months now Felicity had been in charge, not much had changed, except for the fact that her friendship with Pippa had grown stronger. Pippa—her second in command, her confidant, her closest friend. They had become thick as thieves. They were inseparable, because together they felt invincible.

The silence of the night settled around them. Moonlight shone through the window, illuminating Felicity's shockingly blonde hair and her impressive gray eyes.

"Pippa?" Felicity asked quietly.

"Yes?" Pippa turned to face her. Felicity's features were sullen, her eyes distant.

"Do you suppose there is some evil in people that makes others do things?"

Pippa yawned. "What kind of things?" she asked sleepily.

"Terrible things." Felicity whispered.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean. We're all capable of evil Fee, every last one of us, but I don't think it has anything to do with other people. Our evil is our own cross to bear, our own affliction. It all depends on what we do about it." Pippa yawned again, her eyelids felt heavier with every passing second. "I'm sorry, did that help? I fear that I'm too tired to make much sense of anything just now." She apologized.

"Yes, that was fine." Felicity whispered, fighting back tears. "It's fine."

"I hate spring, it's always so unbearably gloomy and rainy." Pippa complained, glancing out the window.

"Thunderstorms always seem so powerful to me. I love the rain." Felicity said. "Here, will you help me with this?" she asked, tossing Pippa a scarf.

Pippa sighed. "Alright, but I don't see why we need to make a tent. It will only taunt Cecily more, having our own secret club I mean." Pippa grumbled, reluctantly helping Felicity tie scarves together in a corner of the Great Hall.

"Precisely why I want to build it, besides we need our privacy." Felicity smirked.

"Oh Fee, you're so awful." Pippa giggled.

"There." Felicity said, tying up the last scarf. "Come on." She crawled under the scarves, gesturing for Pippa to follow. They positioned themselves away from the other chattering girls in the Hall. Rain continued to splatter against the windows, resembling teardrops as it trickled down the glass.

"Chocolate?" Felicity offered.

"Thank you." Pippa grabbed one and popped it into her mouth, rolling it around with her tongue to savor the sweet taste.

"Is your mother still insistent upon you seeing that awful suitor? That old one with the beard, what's his name, Mr. Prickly?"

"You mean Mr. Hinckley?" Pippa giggled.

Felicity scoffed. "That's not much better."

"Just be thankful that your mother is too busy to be setting you up with horrible men." Pippa sighed.

"Yes, thankful." Felicity muttered bitterly.

"Oh, I'm sorry Fee. I didn't mean it like that!"

Felicity sighed. " I know." A bolt of lightening flashed nearby outside followed by an earth-shattering clap of thunder.

"Oh my!" Pippa exclaimed.

"No need to jump out of your skin, Pip. It's only the weather." Felicity said. "Let's have a look, shall we?" she walked over to the window to get a better look, but the heavy rain obscured her view of the storm, making everything appear gray and dingy. Another bolt of lightening struck in the woods nearby with a loud crack. Felicity pressed her nose to the cool glass. "Come here and take a look, Pip. The storm won't hurt you." The next batch of thunder rumbled as loud as a lion's roar. "Pip?"

Felicity turned around, not believing that her friend would be so afraid of a little storm. Felicity went from disbelief to horror in a matter of seconds. Pippa was thrashing around on the ground. Her hair was a tangled mess around her face; her body was writhing in what seemed like complete and violent agony. Yet, even in pain Pippa was graceful somehow, beautiful. Felicity rushed to her side.

"Pippa! Pippa!" she shouted. What was happening? What was going on? Felicity couldn't think straight. "Mrs. Nightwing! Mrs. Nightwing!" she yelled. Other girls in the Hall had begun to gather around the awful sight.

"Move please, out of the way!" Mrs. Nightwing ordered, running to the scene. She tore the scarves down out of her way and firmly gripped the thrashing Pippa. Brigid rushed in with a spoon in hand.

"Pippa! Please help her!" Felicity cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. The storm raged on outside with angry rumbles of thunder and vicious flashes of lightening.

"Brigid, call Dr. Thomas at once!" Mrs. Nightwing said urgently.

"What's wrong with her?" Felicity asked frantically.

"Please stand back Miss Worthington." Mrs. Nightwing ordered. Finally, Pippa's violent writhing had ceased, like the calm before a storm.

Felicity swiped at her tears. "Is she…" she could barely think about it, let alone ask it.

"Miss Cross will be fine. It was just a fit. She is afflicted with epilepsy." Mrs. Nightwing explained, wiping sweat from her brow.

"Dr. Thomas is on 'is way, 'e may take a while due to the storm." Brigid announced.

"Thank you Brigid. Girls stop gawking." Nightwing shooed the other students away from Pippa's limp body. "I'll have no one gossiping about this." She warned. "Brigid, would you be so kind as to help me take Miss Cross up to her room."

"Yes ma'am." Brigid answered, lifting Pippa's shoulders.

"I want to come too." Felicity begged.

Mrs. Nightwing shook her head. "I'm sorry Miss Worthington but that is out of the question. Miss Cross will need her rest. You'll be able to see her soon."

Felicity nodded and silently went back over to the window. She watched as Pippa was carried from the room like a sleeping princess.

**That evening…**

As the girls pulled out their needlepoint or gathered around Brigid for a tale, Felicity sat silently, staring out the window towards the moon. The rain had diminished to only a soft patter now. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder; she shrugged it off and turned around. It was Mrs. Nightwing.

"She's awake now. You may go and see her."

Felicity dashed for the stairs, and ran to her room. The door stood in front of her, looking dark and ominous, cautiously she pushed it forward. Only a single candle lit the room, giving it a morose feeling.

"Dr. Thomas?" Pippa asked weakly.

"No, it's me." Felicity took a slow step forward.

"Oh, Fee." Pippa sighed. Felicity went to her side. Pippa looked so small and weak lying there; her violet eyes had lost their normally vibrant look.

"I've been so worried." Felicity said.

"Well, now you know, and you still want to associate with me, the damaged girl who can't even control her own body? I'd understand if you wanted to stop being friends. I'm damaged, broken. Not even my own parents want to admit that there's something wrong with me. They think I can control it, my mother wants me to hide it." Pippa began to cry softly.

"Oh Pip, don't cry. I'm not going to leave you." Felicity assured her, grasping Pippa's hand gently.

Pippa sniffled. "You won't?"

"No, of course not. You're my best friend, practically my sister, and I can't imagine being without you."

"Thank you." Pippa's violet eyes glistened with tears.

"We're all damaged somehow, Pip." Felicity knelt down next to the side of her bed.

Pippa glanced down into Felicity's worried eyes. "Will you stay with me, at least until I fall asleep?"

Felicity covered Pippa's frail hand in both of hers reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere."

**Please review, thanks for reading!**


	3. Reliving the Past

(Skipping forward in time now. I'm not sure how far. Perhaps a month or two, but its still Pre- Terrible Beauty)

_Do you know what it is to be powerless? Helpless?_

- Felicity A.G.A.T.B.

"I'm sorry Madame Lefarge, but I wonder if I could borrow Miss Worthington for a moment?" Mrs. Nightwing asked, interrupting the girls' French lesson.

"But of course, au revior Miss Worthington." Lefarge dismissed.

"Au revior." Felicity muttered.

The girls around her tittered with excitement as she exited the class. Was the incomparable Felicity Worthington in trouble? Or had a suitor come to ask for her hand? The girls pondered the endless possibilities, all of them scandalous in their own right. Pippa glanced apprehensively after her friend.

"Miss Worthington, your father is here to see you. He's waiting in the drawing room." Mrs. Nightwing announced. Felicity remained silent as the headmistress showed her to the room. "Ah, here we are. I'll just leave you two be."

_'No please don't!' _Felicity felt like screaming, but instead she merely nodded politely, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

"Felicity!" her father stepped forward to greet her.

"Father." Felicity's tone was touched with a small hint of hope. Perhaps this time would be different, perhaps this time he truly came just to visit her.

"My dear, look at what a wonderful young lady you're growing into." His words seemed sincere, kind, loving. But there was a small glint in his eyes that seemed obscure and ravenous.

Felicity clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking. "Why have you come?" Her voice was steady.

"Isn't it possible for me to just visit my daughter, is that a crime I'm not aware of?" He took an agitated step forward, glaring down into Felicity's eyes; she glared right back.

"No, it's not a crime, but if that truly is all then I really must be getting back to my French lesson." Felicity turned for the door. Her father held it fast with his hand; he turned her around too harshly.

"Not so fast my dear, shouldn't I at least get to say a proper good-bye? After all I made the effort to come and see you today." Violently he crushed his lips to hers, pinning his daughter with her back against the door. Felicity struggled uselessly as her father suffocated her with his lips; his hand absently roamed the length of her bodice.

She turned her head away quickly, escaping for air. "Enough." She begged. "Enough."

Her father took a step back and glared angrily at her. "Enough? Enough? It's never enough! With love there is never enough. You bring this out in me! It's your fault that I will never have enough!" His hand contacted with her face in a harsh, echoing slap. Her grey eyes began to tear from the sting of her cheek.

"Fine! Leave! Go back to your studies you wretched girl, you lovely girl." He shouted.

Felicity bolted from the room and dashed for the stairs, trying to hold back her tears until she was in the safety of her own room. She slammed the door behind her, and collapsed to the floor, pressing her hand to her mouth to try and stifle her sobs.

**Later…**

Whether it was moments or hours later Felicity couldn't tell, but there was most certainly a knock on the door. She wiped at her eyes furiously.

"Felicity, it's me, are you in there?" Pippa called out urgently.

Felicity hesitated.

"Fee, are you there?"

"…Yes…"

Pippa burst through the door. "Oh thank goodness! I didn't know what to think. I wasn't sure where you had gone. You've missed classes all day and I was so worried. Everyone has been saying such terrible things. Oh, I know that its just gossip and I shouldn't listen to it, but you know me. But I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad that you're alright, the day has been a bore without you." Pippa said, quickly embracing her friend. Felicity broke away from Pippa's grasp and sat on the edge of her bed. She wiped at her eyes hastily. "Fee, have you been crying?" Pippa asked, noticing her tears.

"No. I'm fine."

"You most certainly are not fine, tell me what happened." Pippa entreated, sitting down next to her.

"It's nothing. I don't want to talk about it."

"Felicity, your cheek is swelling." Pippa observed, and suddenly it came to her, a late-night conversation that the two of them had a while back…

_"Do you suppose there is some evil in people that makes others do things?"_

_Pippa yawned. "What kind of things?" she asked sleepily._

_"Terrible things." Felicity whispered._

"Was it your father, Fee? Did he hit you?"

_'If she only knew.' _Felicity thought; she shook her head. "No, it's not like that. It's entirely my fault. He didn't mean it. He loves me. He said so."

"Oh Fee…"

"I said I don't want to talk about it."

"But Fee-…"

"That's enough, Pippa!" Felicity shouted. "Enough…" she dissolved into tears, not even attempting to hold them back. Pippa slipped her arm around Felicity's shoulders. Pippa sat there in silence, offering her should to cry on, because what else could she do? She knew that there was nothing else to say, and she felt powerless, helpless, to do anything more or anything less.


	4. The arrival of Gemma

_"Be careful she doesn't get bored with you next. It's a long way to fall."_

- Pippa A.G.A.T.B

(The arrival of Gemma)

Red hair, green eyes, she was a bit too tall and a bit too broad shouldered. She walked in wearing mourning clothes. Her step was uncertain.

"She's the new girl, Gemma something-or-other, she came all the way from India. Her family really isn't that well off. Although I hear her Grandmother has the majority of the wealth. It's rumored that her mother recently died, though her death is shrouded in mystery."

"Thank you Cecily, that's enough gossiping for now, the new girl isn't our concern." Felicity told her entourage dismissively. "Now, as I was saying…"

**(After a while…)**

Although she had said that it was of no concern, the new girl interested her. It was true that she and Pip had locked her in the chapel just the other evening, but still, there was something mysterious about this Gemma Doyle. There was something about her that Felicity couldn't quite place, perhaps a sort of bold determination, and a sort of cunning that Felicity saw in herself. Of course, she had no intention of reaching out to the new girl, because this would be a sign of weakness that Felicity simply could not afford. It wasn't until the mysterious Gemma had "saved" her from the disgrace of being found kissing that gypsy boy, only after that incident could she invade Miss Doyle's life at Spence, and figure out her deepest secrets. After all, she _was_ the most influential girl at Spence, and if Felicity Worthington decided to challenge the new girl, then of course it was all right.

**(Later the same day…)**

"So what really did happen after that Gemma girl pushed you in the lake this afternoon, was it payback of some sort?" Pippa asked, linking arms with Felicity.

"Nothing happened, it was all just an accident, I told you." Felicity said dismissively.

"No actually you didn't."

"Oh Pip, please don't act so childishly, jealousy does not become you, really. You're not getting replaced if that's what you're thinking in that foolish head of yours."

"Of course not, why would I think that?" Pippa asked, sounding like a petulant child.

"I honestly have no idea." Felicity sighed. Without realizing it, she was absently searching for a glimpse of red hair; she wondered if the new girl was nearby. "I'll be right back." Felicity walked off, brushing past Pippa. "Gemma."

"Felicity."

Brave green eyes stared back at her.

"I was wondering if we could speak for a moment?" Felicity asked, staring unnervingly back into those glass-green eyes.

"Certainly."

She could tell that the new girl was trying very hard to remain civil.

"I know that we might have the wrong impression of one another. It seems that you are much more worthy than you first appeared. Would you care to join Pippa and I in my tent?"

There, an olive branch, a million girls would do anything for this opportunity.

"Only if Ann can come as well."

The boldness of her! Adding a condition to the deal, and yet she almost admired the audacity.

Felicity smiled weakly at the plain looking, scholarship girl. "Yes, alright." She escorted Gemma and Ann back to the tent with her.

"Fee, I was just thinking we could…" Pippa beamed as she returned. "Oh…" her smile faded quickly as she noticed Gemma and Ann. "Hello." She greeted sourly.

"Hello." Gemma replied.

Ann said nothing.

"So, what is this, another plot against me? Am I going to find Pippa's diamond earrings have been slipped into my boot, and then I'll be made out to be a thief in front of everyone?" Gemma asked, her voice cold.

Pippa laughed harshly. "We wouldn't try the same trick twice. We have more imagination then you give us credit-…"

Felicity cut her off. "No, this is an olive branch. Our one condition is that you trade a secret for a secret, and since you already have one of mine, you must now tell me one of yours." Felicity laid out her ultimatum.

"Fee!" Pippa exclaimed angrily.

She knew Pippa would be angry with her for keeping this from her, but right now she couldn't be bothered with her friend's childish temper.

"Do we have a deal? Either that or…" Felicity let them hang, enigmatically.

"We shove you out of _our_ tent right now." Pippa finished impudently.

Gemma glared at Felicity, she was trying to determine whether or not Felicity was being truthful. Her green eyes turned toward the anxious Ann, and then to the petulant Pippa, then back to Felicity again. Felicity looked right back into those green eyes, with what she could only imagine was her best 'inscrutable' stare.

"Fine, I accept." Gemma said tenaciously.

"Wonderful." Felicity smirked; she would finally grasp some of the mystery behind the secretive Gemma Doyle.

Felicity: _"I hate you."_

Pippa:_ "It's not me you hate, Fee. It's not me."_

-A.G.A.T.B

(This takes place right after Felicity and Pippa's fight in the Great Hall.)

"The only reason you want to be around Gemma is because she has power. Isn't that right? You're tired of feeling helpless. What do you know about being helpless? At least you're not getting pawned off like some wrecked family jewel! Gemma's power can't fix everything, Fee. It just can't, and it's not ours to have. It just isn't." Pippa ranted, her eyes glistening with tears. "Gemma can't fix everything!"

Felicity turned on Pippa. "You don't know that! Maybe her power can be ours too! As long as we have The Order, The Realms, we can change things; we can fix things!"

"It can't last forever! It's only a temporary solution, Fee. It can't fix all of the problems in your life, just as it certainly cannot fix all of mine!"

"You don't know that!" Felicity shouted.

"Fee…"

"You don't know that!"

Tears rolled down Pippa's beautiful cheeks. "Do you see what this power is doing to us, what it's done already? We'll only ever have a taste of it, that's all we'll ever get."

Felicity's face was set and determined. "It will fix things Pip, it _has_ to."

Pippa sighed, wiping at her tears. "Maybe you're right."

Felicity stared out the window with quiet determination. "I am."

"Okay." Pippa agreed. "Okay."

**Hope you enjoyed the past two chapters. Thanks for taking the time to read. Please review!**


	5. Felicity the Degenerate

**Disclaimer: (I forgot I was supposed to add these every chapter, whoops…) Well obviously I don't own these characters, they are property of Libba Bray's imagination and print. For this chapter let me kindly remind everyone of the "T" rating. Oh, and sorry for my comma usage, I've always been bad at that, and as the "Closer" would say: Thank-yew.**

"_You promised you'd never leave me. You promised!"_

-Pippa R.A

(Mere weeks later… (Perhaps two or three))

The first time it happened it had been Felicity's fault. Of course it had been her fault, Pippa wasn't the one who was immoral. It had been a normal night, just like any other. They had been saying good night, embracing quickly before going to sleep. But she had gotten caught up in her own feelings for a moment, and she hadn't been strong enough to keep them at bay. Afterwards, Pippa had been far to stunned to say anything; her face had flushed a bright crimson.

Felicity couldn't remember when it had started, these feelings for her friend. But she knew that they were unnatural, and improper, and she most certainly shouldn't have acted on them. Yet she had, and she couldn't take back what had already happened, and now Felicity wasn't quite sure if their friendship would ever be the same. It had been changed, and that change had undoubtedly been for the worse.

The day after it had happened, Pippa still hadn't spoken to her. Maybe if they ignored it, this whole thing would go away. Although she wouldn't speak, Pippa kept glancing awkwardly at Felicity; she would look away the moment that Felicity's eyes met hers, a storm of grey and violet. But then the glances changed, from awkward to curious, from curious to penetrating. It nearly seemed as if Pippa was trying to read Felicity's thoughts, her feelings. But then, she would quickly look away again. Maybe it was nothing at all. Perhaps now, Pippa just saw Felicity for who she really was, a degenerate.

**After…**

"Pippa?" Fee asked tentatively, as they sat alone in her tent.

"Not here Fee, not now. We'll talk about this later, yes?"

"Yes, alright." Felicity agreed; she let out the breath she had been holding in for some time.

At least they would talk about it.

**Later…**

"So…" Pippa began, shutting the door behind her. She positioned herself on the bed closest to the window, sitting across from Felicity.

"Well, now you know." Felicity laughed bitterly.

"Know what?" Pippa asked innocently.

"You know very well what. You know that my feelings are unnatural." Felicity breathed deeply, trying to remain calm. "I'm sorry Pip. I'm sorry for involving you in this mess. If I could only take it back…"

"Do you want to, take it back I mean?" Pippa asked, her gaze curious.

Felicity avoided Pippa's eyes. "No."

"But what about that charming Simon Middleton, he seems splendid. What about him?" Pippa asked encouragingly.

"I don't know. I don't think I love him; men aren't worth it."

Pippa sighed. "Oh."

"You see! You think that I've lost it, that I'm out of my head, but I'm not, I-…" Felicity faltered.

"I've always been waiting for my prince, Fee, and I know that some day he'll come."

"But what if he doesn't? Even if he does, what if he leaves you? I'll never leave you, I promise!" Felicity declared resolutely, starring straight into Pippa's uncertain eyes.

This time it was Pippa who looked away. "Fee, we couldn't, it isn't…" _Natural_- the word that was left unsaid, but Felicity could fill in the blank on her own.

"Don't you think I know that this isn't natural? Don't you believe that I've been trying not to feel this way?"

"Oh, Fee." Pippa whispered, noticing the pain in her friend's eyes.

Felicity blinked rapidly to try to keep her tears at bay. "I care for you, isn't that enough?"

Pippa was quiet for a moment, a moment that seemed to last forever. The silence weighed heavily between them. "Y-yes I suppose it is." She answered softly.

Felicity's tears fell freely now; she swiped at them angrily. "If only I could be stronger. I would be your prince."

Pippa giggled. "You're strong enough already." She kissed both of Felicity's tear-stained cheeks.

Felicity smiled bitter-sweetly. "Thank-you." They both leaned closer and kissed lightly, tenderly. Pippa pulled back slowly, a furious blush touched her cheeks.

"Well, there's no need to be so modest now princess." Felicity grinned boldly.

"Oh, Fee." Pippa smiled. She grabbed a pillow from behind her and swung it at Felicity, hitting her with a loud thwack. "Aren't princes supposed to protect their princesses?" She asked as Felicity retaliated.

"Not if they're attacked first." Felicity smirked, wielding her pillow. They both fell to the bed in fits of laughter.

Once the laughter had ceased, they lay back together on the comforter, and looked out the window towards the starry night sky.

"Tomorrow we will go to the Realms…" Pippa said softly.

"And fulfill our deepest desires and dreams." Felicity added.

The moonlight glimmered off of Pippa's violet eyes. "Won't that be grand?"

"Yes," Felicity answered. "Yes, I believe it shall."

Innocently, they rested together, bathed in the pale glow of moonlight. Full of promises and hopes, together they were ready for whatever the next day held.


	6. Entering the Realms

**(Much credit to Libba Bray for this last upcoming section, esp. chapters 35-38 of A.G.A.T.B.) (**The different font in the next section is used to give insight into the characters, try not to confuse it with what they're actually saying.**) Oh and could you please tell me how my "Gemma" is, I always feel that she carries too much baggage for me to portray her adequately. **

I HAVE NOT TOLD MY GARDEN YET (By: Emily Dickinson)

I have not told my garden yet,

Lest that should conquer me;

I have not quite the strength now

To break it to the bee.

I will not name it in the street,

For shops would stare, that I,

So shy, so very ignorant,

Should have the face to die.

Gemma: _…This is not a place to stay. It's a place of dreams._

Pippa: _What if I choose the dream instead?_- A.G.A.T.B

**(The Next Day…)**

"Gemma won't take us into the Realms." Pippa pouted as she walked over towards Felicity who was practicing her archery.

Felicity lowered her bow. "What's this, Gemma? Why won't you take us back?"

Those green eyes shifted nervously under Felicity's grey stare.

"I didn't say that."

"Well you implied it." Pippa continued to behave petulantly.

Felicity glared angrily. "You want the power of the Realms all to yourself, don't you Gemma?"

"No, that's not true." Gemma said unconvincingly.

Felicity took a challenging step forward. Gemma might have wanted to deny it, but it was true. She wanted to have the power over all of them. She wanted to take control of their happiness; well Felicity wouldn't allow it. She was strong enough to handle her own power and control her own happiness.

"Don't you see? Gemma wants the power all to herself! She wants the power over us." If she made them believe that, then maybe Felicity could secure more power for herself, more freedom.

Gemma staggered as Felicity's uprising sparked. "T-that's not true."

Pippa tilted her head to the side curiously. "Then why won't you take us?"

Gemma hesitates, and that's when Felicity is sure that she has her.

"She doesn't trust us." Felicity announces. "We need a sacrifice, that's what the huntress told me. Then we will be able to reach the Realms on our own."

Gemma won't let Felicity's coup take root. "You can't do this. I won't let you."

But Felicity's will for power is stronger. She won't be under her friend's whims any longer. "You. Can't. Stop. Us." Her ice grey eyes stare back at Gemma menacingly.

Gemma seems to be at a loss, not understanding what has come over her friend. But Gemma can never really understand, not fully, because Gemma has never been completely powerless like Felicity has been.

"I wouldn't be forced to marry?" Pippa's voice is hopeful.

"We could change everything." Felicity declares.

"Everything." Ann echoes.

Gemma is trying to stop these drastic things from happening; she's desperately hoping to keep the swelling riot at bay. "Stop! I'll take you to the realms! Take my hands." Gemma outstretches her arms, palms up. She's offered the one bargain that Felicity cannot refuse. The door of light appears, and they are entering the land of dreams once more.

"You see Gemma, it isn't any different." Felicity says, twirling through the garden.

"Yes." Gemma agrees, but she still seems to be completely on edge.

Suddenly, the wind begins to change. Everything is not as beautiful as it once was. Ann is being forced to look at her reflection in the water, and Gemma pulls her away. Felicity is surrounded by a black figure whichever way she turns. Gemma slams into her, hard, and they take off running.

A storm attacks the garden, whipping the girls' hair about. Fruit rots off the once luscious trees, everything is in chaos. The black-cloaked wraith is closing in on them. Pippa's screams echo through the garden.

"Where's Pippa?" Gemma asks, frantically glancing around.

"Pippa! Pippa!" Felicity screams over the storm until her voice is hoarse.

"Over there!" Ann points. "On the water!"

Pippa is standing precariously on the edge of a rowboat. "Don't leave me!"

She shouts. The boat tips under her weight and she falls into the water, her pale hands desperately grasping at nothing. The wraith howls and closes in.

"Pippa! Pippa!" Felicity is frantic. But there's no way to reach her.

Gemma pulls Felicity back. "Felicity, we've got to go- now!" Gemma pulls her friends through the door, all accept for Pippa, whose body is seizing on the floor of the cave when they return.

"Pippa?" Ann asks, her voice shaking.

Felicity is sobbing. "You left her there! You did it!"

And the last candle sputters and dies.

**That last line was right out of A.G.A.T.B. by the way. Review please, and thanks for reading. The next post is the last one, so please review if you wish to read the ending. Thanks again!**


	7. The Funeral

**Disclaimer: Credit to the great Libba Bray. Nothing is mine but the plot. Here is the summation.**

_"Oh, God, the great and terrible beauty of it."_ – Gemma A.G.A.T.B

Felicity is sobbing as Gemma comes up to her; her features blur as Felicity tries to blink back her persistent tears. The look of anguish on Gemma's face tells Felicity what she has already feared.

"No…" she shakes her head from side to side, her sobs choking her words. "No!"

Gemma is stricken; she grips the hysterical Felicity by her shoulders.

"She chose to stay. She ate the berries. There was nothing I could do. I tried." Gemma apologizes, tears welling in her own eyes.

"I promised her." Felicity manages to say through her sobs.

"…_What if he leaves you? I'll never leave you, I promise!" Felicity declared resolutely._

"I'm so sorry." Gemma releases Felicity and walks away; she has her own inner demons to deal with.

**(The night before the funeral…)**

Felicity's hair is matted to her face, her cheeks glisten with tears; her eyes are red and puffy. If she had any tears left she would still be sobbing, but her tears are wholly spent. The empty bed across from her is a glaring reminder. She clutches Pippa's glove in her hand though it does little to help; she feels entirely empty.

A part of her is missing, and she knows that part will never return. Turning over, she realizes that there is not even moonlight to comfort her. The sky is choked by grey clouds that threaten to spill rain, like an endless amount of tears seeping into the desolate earth. Sleep weighs heavily on her eyes until she sinks into dreams, such awful dreams.

The next morning it is raining. Gemma, Ann, and the other members of Spence gather with her at Pippa's funeral, but still, she feels utterly alone. As she throws dirt on the coffin she remembers her friend, her sister, the secrets they shared, the fights they had, and the painful times they had stumbled through together. Together. At Spence they had always been together. She needed strength now more than ever; so, she hardened her heart to match the icy, detached shade of her eyes.

Gemma came over to her side quietly, offering what little comfort she could. Felicity kept her eyes on the grave. Her tears began to mingle with the rain until she couldn't distinguish whether it was the rain irritating her, or her own weak tears.

"She's really gone, isn't she?"

"Yes." Gemma responds softly, sounding so very sure.

"What if something terrible happened to me, Gemma? What if I am damaged?" Felicity asks, vaguely remembering when Pippa felt the same way, damaged.

Gemma slips her damp arm through Felicity's reassuringly. "We're all damaged somehow."

**Epilogue…**

"Oh, I've a love, a true, true love, who waits upon yon shore…and if my love won't be my love, then I will live no more…" - Pippa T.S.F.T

She stays long after the freshly turned earth has swallowed the coffin. She's the last one standing at the graveside when it's over. The rain continues to patter down steadily; it has now seeped fully through her dress. The headstone in front of her reads—

Pippa Cross

A beloved daughter and friend

(1878-1895)

The inscription set in stone, is a heavy reality, which at present she cannot bear. The wound of her loss is still too new for it to ice over so quickly. The wind picks up speed, whipping the rain violently at the earth. She almost seems to hear a soft whisper coming through the vicious storm.

_"Oh Fee…"_

Her soft voice seems to float on the wind, it echoes in Felicity's ears, as if it is falling with every raindrop.

_"…You promised…"_

Felicity looks around through the steady downpour. "Pip?"

_"Oh, I've a love…"_

Then, the storm grows stronger; the rain falls heavily in big splashes upon the grave. As Felicity runs for cover, she finds herself hoping. The hope that somewhere out there perhaps her friend's spirit still lives on. This helps her find strength; the strength that will help her heal, the strength that will make her feel powerful, the strength that will lead her to her own victory, and that is enough, that truly is enough.

Fin

**That's the end. Please review and tell me what you thought about it. **

**Thanks to my continuing readers, without your reviews I never would've gotten this far. By the way, the dates on Pippa's grave are completely assumed, but that would make her 17, which I believe was her age in A.G.A.T.B. I've got ideas for a new story already, a bunch of Felicity one-shots called "The Essence of Felicity". Coming soon, lol, once I get it typed up, thank-yew all, once again. Ciao. **


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